Ai Piah Cia Eh Yia (爱拼才会赢)

爱拼才会赢2006中秋晚会      台语原唱Ai Piah Cia Eh Yia YouTube.com (葉啟田)


填词:王怀钦

海天茫茫漫漫征程,
长风浩荡吹我梦醒。
又见万顷波浪,点点月明,
寥廓天地我心憧憬。
虽说是桑田沧海变无形,
要创造崭新黎明。
皓月、群星,随潮汐伴我去远行。
破浪乘长风,奋力向前冲,
爱拼才会赢。

词曲:陳百潭

一時失志嘸免怨嘆,
一時落魄嘸免膽寒。
那通失去希望,每日醉茫茫,
無魂有體親像稻草人。
人生可比是海上的波浪,
有時起、有時落。
好運、歹運,總嘛要照起工來行。
三分天註定,七分靠打拚,
愛拚才會贏。

西北中文开学啦!

西北中文开学啦!
──不断提高教学,坚持联合家长,团结华人力量,服务奉献社会

  九月来临,孩子们还在恋恋不舍即将结束的暑假和丰富的夏日时光,而西北中文学校的教职员工早已紧张地结束了暑期班的课程,开始为新的学期做好了准备。许多人还记得过去一年学校的许多显著变化。除了新任校长和换选的董事,西北中文重建起了强大的PTA队伍,并在新的团队精神鼓舞下,无私地为学校的日常管理奉献了大量宝贵时间和人力物力。他们还增进和发展了多种文艺项目,充分丰富家长们的活动。继年初的大型春节晚会,学校组织和参与了当地每一次和华人有关的游行,表演和社区活动,包括胡锦涛主席的访问、海洋节、青岛少年音乐团和千手观音的演出等。

  家长的全力支持和学校建设的紧密联系,不仅是西北中文一贯的传统和特色,更是学校能够最大程度地把优质的服务回馈给学生、家长、和整个社区的坚实基础。自2005年秋季,西北中文学校启动了一系列重大措施和改革,包括正式建立教师档案和管理队伍,课本全部免费,通过互联网注册来简化入学手续和分班程序,扩充教室,创办由老师和学生投稿的电子杂志,在适龄年级订阅语文报刊,增设幼儿舞蹈班和体操班吸引孩子们的兴趣,加大对家长活动的支持,规范演出管理,为老年家长们提供免费的英语课,等等。在这里,西北中文学校远远超出了一个简单的中文课堂的范畴。

  对于西北中文学校的董事会和管理队伍来说,这些众多的活动和改变最终围绕着一个所有学生和家长关心的问题,那就是如何保持和提高办学的素质。在总结过去一年的成绩之时,校长周琳特别指出:“西北中文是一所非盈利的由家长创办的中文学校。这决定了我们会尽最大努力为家长提供全方位的服务.所以学校有许多给家长的课程和活动,这也使得学校在本地的华人社区有显著的地位.而另一方面,我们决不会忽视中文教育的重要性.毕竟家长们来这里的最初目的是让孩子们学好中文.提高教学质量和丰富教学内容始终是我们的指导方针."

  周琳校长又谈到:从去年开始,学校的入学人数进一步突破千人.这标志着经过十年的发展,西北中文学校进入了一个更高的阶段.最突出的表现就在于整个学校需要一个专业的全职管理队伍来负责从教学到文体活动等一系列工作的规划和实施.周琳认为对管理人员来说,这既是一个矛盾,也是一种挑战。因为如果缺乏专业的管理,学校很容易在规模膨胀的同时丧失教学的统一标准而不再保持精品、甚至流失人才让后来者居上;但作为一个非盈利的由家长联合的组织,过于严谨或繁复的管理机构也可能消弱家长参与的积极性、降低办事效率,并陷入盈利的循环从而改变学校的办学性质。

  自去年夏天董事会聘请具有商业管理背景的周琳出任西北中文学校校长,学校的各个方面都显示出新的气象。周琳指出,做校长对她来说也是一种新的经历,她并没有也决不希望照搬任何商业管理的模式。她非常赞赏西北中文学校的成功道路,认识到这里的家长人才济济,有不同年龄和来自各行各界的精英。周琳表示自己最大的工作就是充分支持、调动和发挥学生、家长和老师这三方的积极性和能动性。她进一步强调一个精简而不失效率的行政队伍,其宗旨和手段在目前和将来对学校的发展至关重要。这一宗旨就是围绕着中文教育和文化传播,而手段则是兼顾教学管理和加强华人社区的建设。

  身为西北中文学校校长的周琳,同时也是其他华人社区和各种文化活动的积极参与者。她从不在意是否悬挂任何头衔,在各重大活动中都认真发挥自己的规划管理专长,切实做好具体工作,并把西北中文学校的名声传播到每一个家庭。由于她本人平时在华盛顿湖科技大学上班也肩负着繁忙的管理职责,周琳不得不把包括周末在内所有的业余时间都用在和中文学校相关的事务上。可以说在这个周六学校的兼职岗位上,周琳做的是另一份全职的工作。特别令她感到欣慰的是在教育领域施展了自己的专长。对中文事业的蓬勃发展,周琳坚信海外华人有足够的能力和聪明才智形成有影响力的团结实体并服务于社会。

  在充分权衡自由与管理、传统和改革的现实冲突中,周琳自上任之日起就以发扬“团结和奉献"的精神,对内全心办学,对外则是拼力打造西北中文学校的品牌。她把目光聚集在家长和学生们的切实需求上,提供最大的努力让每一个来到这所周末学校的人都有一个愉快学习和活动的星期六。这样一个热闹的华人社区,既增强了教师和家长的凝聚力,又极大地吸引了外界所有对中文或学校感兴趣的人。周琳认为教学管理和家长活动是学校互为依靠却又不可替代的两个方面。对于教学质量的审核,周琳强调要采取条理严谨的行政管理手段;而针对社团的建设和学校的发展,则应该灵活地结合富有进取性的市场公关策略。

  2006新学年伊始,学校将在行政上做出一些调整。原来担任教务长的李群和林玮琦分别出任专管语文和副科教学的副校长。他们将完全放下原有的教学任务,专职负责行政管理。林玮琦和李群都拥有相关背景的学位,在西北中文有超过六年的教务经验。周琳介绍说:“这是一个非常艰难的抉择。林玮琪是学校最好的中文老师之一。李群不仅在中文学校,在整个华盛顿州都赫赫有名,今年年初他带队参加全国数学竞赛,为华盛顿州取得了第二名的好成绩。学校需要优秀的老师,但也亟需管理人才。我们将着眼于长久的发展,给其他的老师提供更多的实践和培训机会,全面地提高整体的教学质量。"

  本着非盈利和自我办学的宗旨,在十年的发展中,西北中文不仅成为西北地区最大的一所拥有千名以上从学前到成人班多科目的并获得教育机构学分认证的周六学校,更是众多海外华人的联谊中心。学校的董事会完全由学生家长组成。现任董事长苗进超,副董事长那济源,PTA主席胡晓君。现任校长周琳。

  西北中文学校位于华盛顿湖东岸科克兰市11605 132nd Ave NE。西雅图分校地址:1301 E Yesler Way。今年学校将开设47个中文班和34个选修课,这包括了新增设的中文基础加强班,天才预备班,WASL数学班及英文写作班,高中奥林匹克数学班,和书法班。开学在即,如果您希望加入西北中文学校,欢迎联系校长电话:206-349-6927或访问http://www.nwchinese.org/获取详尽信息。


2006.8.30

Conversation Scripts

Hu is the new leader of China


SCENE-: After Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China, the day in the Oval Office; George Bush and Condoleezza Rice.
Operator: Mr. President, Condoleezza Rice is here to see you.
George: Good, send her in.
Operator: Yes, sir. (Phone hangs up. Condi enters.)
Condi~: Good morning, Mr. President.
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi~: Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George: Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condi~: Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi~: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi~: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi~: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi~: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi~: Hu.
George: The Chinaman?
Condi~: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya asking me for?
Condi~: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi~: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s whose name?
Condi~: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi~: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi~: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi~: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi~: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi~: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi~: No, sir.
(Pause. Crumples paper)
George: Look, Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don’t you get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows.
Condi~: Kofi Annan?
George: No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap ...
Condi~: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi~: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi~: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condi~: Kofi?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi~: Call who?
George: -- who is the guy at the U.N.
Condi~: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi~: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
Condi~: Kofi?
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone. (Condi picks up the phone... after a while -)
Condi~: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.
(Door slams. Music...)


Who's On First

— the best standup about baseball ever

Abbott ~: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bookie Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott ~: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott ~: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott ~: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott ~: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott ~: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott ~: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott ~: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott ~: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott ~: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott ~: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott ~: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott ~: Yes.
(PAUSE)
Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott ~: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott ~: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott ~: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott ~: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott ~: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott ~: Yes.
(PAUSE)
Abbott ~: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott ~: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott ~: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott ~: Yes.
(PAUSE)
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott ~: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott ~: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott ~: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott ~: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott ~: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott ~: All right.
(PAUSE)
Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott ~: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott ~: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott ~: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott ~: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott ~: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott ~: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott ~: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!
(PAUSE)
Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott ~: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott ~: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott ~: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott ~: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
(PAUSE)
Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott ~: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott ~: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott ~: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott ~: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott ~: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott ~: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
(PAUSE)
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott ~: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott ~: Oh, he's centerfield.
(PAUSE)
Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott ~: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott ~: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott ~: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott ~: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott ~: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott ~: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott ~: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!
(PAUSE)
Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott ~: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott ~: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott ~: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.
(PAUSE)
Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott ~: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott ~: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
(PAUSE)
Abbott ~: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott ~: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott ~: Naturally.
(PAUSE)
Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott ~: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott ~: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott ~: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott ~: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott ~: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott ~: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott ~: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott ~: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott ~: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott ~: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott ~: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott ~: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott ~: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott ~: Oh, that's our shortstop.

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America is ruled by it like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come. -James Earl Jones as Terence Mann in Field Of Dreams.
Here's a transcript of the Kids in the Hall sketch pardoying the famous routine. Kevin and Dave play the not so well renowned team of McGillicuty and Greene:

Kevin: "Say Mr. Greene, I hear you manage a baseball team."
David: "No. I'm a vaudevillian."
Kevin: "No, I think you manage a baseball team!"
David: "Yes of course, yes I do manage a baseball team."
Kevin: "I understand some of the players have rather strange nicknames, rather silly pet names the players have nowadays."
David: "Yes, it's true. In fact, I have the team roster with me right here. For instance, Hu is on first base, Watt is on second, and Iduno is on third base."
Kevin: "Who's on first base?"
David: "Yes."
Kevin: "Who?"
David: "Yes, Hu is the man on first base."
Kevin: "Why are you asking me; I'm asking you! What's the name of the guy on first base?"
David: "No no, Watt is on - oh, I see what your problem is! Look, you're confused by their names, because they all sound like questions."
Kevin: "I dunno (whispers) third base."
David: "Well, I'll explain it to you. See, on first base is Hu, Samuel Hu, and you're probably not familiar with that name because his grandfather was Chinese. And on second base is Hector Watt, W-A-T-T Watt, and that's not so unusual because James Watt invented the steam engine. And on third base is Phil Iduno, I-D-U-N-O, and if you do say that fast, it does sound like the phrase 'Gee, I dunno,' but it's actually Iduno, Phil Iduno."
Kevin: "That's it. You're hopeless, you're pathetic, you're the worst straight man I ever worked with. I quit. I should have never saved you from those seals."
David: "What are you talking about? I auditioned for this job."
Kevin: "Bastaaaard!"


More on Call Center jokes ...

Computer Salesman


Abbott ~: Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. How can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
Abbott ~: Mac?
Costello: No, the name is Lou.
Abbott ~: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Abbott ~: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name is Lou.
Abbott ~: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Does it get stuffy?
Abbott ~: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
Abbott ~: Wallpaper, desktop, …
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Abbott ~: Software that runs on Windows?
Costello: No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business. What have you got?
Abbott ~: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Abbott ~: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbott ~: Recommended something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbott ~: Yes.
Costello: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott ~: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office.
Abbott ~: Office for Windows.
Costello: I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Abbott ~: Word.
Costello: If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But what program do I load?
Abbott ~: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott ~: The Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Abbott ~: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in "office for windows?"
Abbott ~: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
Costello: I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me a straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
Abbott ~: RealOne.
Costello: Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
Abbott ~: RealOne.
Costello: If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three and four. Can I watch reel four?
Abbott ~: Of course.
Costello: Great! With what?
Abbott ~: RealOne.
Costello: Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbott ~: You click the blue 1.
Costello: I click the blue one what?
Abbott ~: The blue 1.
Costello: Is that different from the blue W?
Abbott ~: Of course it is. The blue 1 is RealOne. The blue W is Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbott ~: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there's three words in "office for windows!"
Abbott ~: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
Costello: It is?
Abbott ~: Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
Costello: And that word is the real one?
Abbott ~: No. RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of Office.
Costello: Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again. But I also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you have to help me track my money?
Abbott ~: Money.
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Abbott ~: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbott ~: No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: What comes bundled with my computer?
Abbott ~: Money.
Costello: Money comes bundled with my computer?
Abbott ~: Exactly. No extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How much money do I get?
Abbott ~: Just one copy.
Costello: I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
Abbott ~: No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
Costello: Microsoft can license you to make money?
Abbott ~: Why not? They own it.
Costello: Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
Abbott ~: Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
Costello: Well, what do you sell in its place?
Abbott ~: Money.
Costello: You sell money?
Abbott ~: Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
Costello: That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
Abbott ~: Simply Accounting.
Costello: Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
Abbott ~: If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
Costello: M.Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
Abbott ~: Mind Your Own Business.
Costello: I beg your pardon?
Abbott ~: No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
Costello: Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You know--accounting? You do it with money.
Abbott ~: Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
Costello: More money?
Abbott ~: More than Money. Money can't do everything.
Costello: I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the moment. I'm worried that my computer might ...... what's the word? Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
Abbott ~: GoBack.
Costello: Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
Abbott ~: GoBack.
Costello: How many times do I have to repeat myself?
Abbott ~: I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was GoBack.
Costello: How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
Abbott ~: Word.
Costello: But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
Abbott ~: No, you only need one Word-the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: But there's three words in...Oh, never mind.
Abbott ~: Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well. -- Ultimate SuperDuper Computer Store. How can I help you?


Care For Your Name


Caller ~: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller ~: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone.You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller ~: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller ~: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller ~: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller ~: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller ~: Oh ......God!!! !


"I know One Thing, That I Know Nothing" –- Socrates

能人汇聚,众志成城,西北中文再显集体力量

能人汇聚,众志成城,西北中文再显集体力量 :: Local media report (当地媒体用稿)  在最近刚结束的中华人民共和国主席胡锦涛访问西雅图的盛大庆祝活动中,西北中文学校再次凸显集体团结的力量,从起始的准备工作到最后两天欢迎欢送现场的一切事项都布置得井井有序,为总体的成功发挥了巨大的作用。

最繁忙的一周
  早在几周之前,华盛顿州地区的各界华侨就已经开始自愿地组织欢迎胡锦涛主席的来访。虽然欢庆欢送时间都安排在工作日,陆续报名的人数一直稳定地增长,有两三千人要求参加全部两天的活动。为此,侨界专门成立了筹备委员会,邀请各个社团的负责人和积极分子献计献策,共同参与。西北中文学校凭借在西雅图地区的广泛影响力,数天内就在学校收到几百人的申请。除了组织自己的团队,学校董事长苗进超和校长周琳同时分管整体活动的各项安排和计划,并协调和其他团体的联络。
  作为西北地区最大的中文教育机构,西北中文可以说早已名声在外。十年的发展和壮大,学校为服务社区贡献了无数心血,也在家长和教师的集体中凝聚了一批企业中的优秀人才。在此次活动中,西北中文再次显示出强大的号召力和细致严谨的领导管理风格,从收集申请,到布置路线和运送车辆都做得有条不紊。校长周琳介绍说,“这是自年初成功举办春节晚会以来最繁忙的一周。在旧金山领事馆的协助下,我们准备了大量旗帜和标语,并为每个人办理了安全通行证。学校排演了腰鼓队,还预先选好了口号和歌曲。指定的几位老师会随车负责把大家送到活动现场,以及预备饮水和午餐。”如同一个大型的项目管理,每个细节被认真地考虑在整体的计划中。一切就绪,大家都热切地等待着活动的开始。

红旗的海洋
  想必许多人都已经在新闻中看到这次活动场面的盛大和热烈。胡锦涛主席在西雅图受到了前所未有的欢迎。时逢雨季的西雅图持续两天晴空万里,远处的雪山被蓝天绿树映得分外清晰。在春花烂漫、湖光秀丽的美景中,由中国城的华侨们组织表演的“三龙九狮”从机场为这次活动拉开了喜庆的序幕。中午,当礼宾车队缓缓驶向城区胡主席将要下榻的酒店,站在对面和街道两侧的就是西北中文学校等一排排的欢迎队伍。这里有老人也有儿童;有大学的学生,也有请假来参加活动的上班一族;有本地的华侨,也有专程从俄勒冈州波特兰和加拿大温哥华等地赶来的欢迎团队。他们自上午八点就已经聚集起来了,但长时等待的辛苦并没有减弱一丝震天的口号。
  在阵阵的锣鼓声中,最耀眼的是一面面迎风招展的五星红旗。这次欢迎活动的过程中,有几个反对和抗议团体试图占据街道的显要位置为自己的标语造成声势。只是瞬间他们就被更多的欢迎人群淹没在一片红色的海洋中。当天参加欢迎的学校家长们兴奋地描述了整个过程。他们一致表示看到这样多的华人自发地前来助兴,真是从心里为祖国的进步感到喜悦和骄傲。同时,许多参与者也指出一些媒体不公正地只顾报道负面的消息,而忽略主流的欢迎场面。更多人也由此体会到要团结不要分裂的重要性。一位家长说,“炎黄子孙越是团结,祖国就越有实力。中国的强盛,最终会让每个人受益。”

东风压倒西风
  这次在西雅图的欢迎活动举办得成功,一个重要的原因就是来自各界群众发自内心的支持。在报名参加的人中,大多数一开始只是出于好奇想亲眼目睹这样重大的事件。但当从清晨就陆陆续续来到市区的部分群众遇到那些早就谋划好地盘的抗议组织时,大家实在是看不惯那种撑着虎皮大旗分裂自己祖国的卑鄙勾当,不由自主地团结了起来。如长城般排开的人群,一会儿就把声嘶力竭的抗议声淹没在喧天的口号和锣鼓中。下午当胡主席在微软参观时,一小撮抗议者故技重施,死皮赖脸地挤到办公楼前吵吵嚷嚷。这反倒激增了几百名微软员工的爱国意识。他们迅速组成游行队伍,以庞大气势表现了海外学子义正词严的战斗热忱。
  目击这些感人的场面,个别当地的报刊居然歪曲事实,把“新闻自由”变成了“自由新闻”。造谣生事者有之,避重就轻者有之。某个记者还在数字上玩儿起了游戏,写到抗议人数就用乘法,提起欢迎人数就改用除法,还辩解说是要表达不同观点。一个“无冕之王”就这样不负责任地用“数字化”新闻任意发挥“民主”精神,把自己贬低成无冕之“氓”。针对如此颠倒黑白、混淆是非的政治小丑,前任西北中文学校校长梁越率先置疑斥责。著名侨领徐亚光和西北中文学校董事会主席苗进超带领爱国华侨们立刻在网络上发起了声讨,并向报社抗议。正所谓同仇敌忾,众志成城,更多的中国人站在一起,显示出人心向背的正义之声。

明星腰鼓队
  要说谁是这次活动的明星,恐怕除了来访的胡主席就是西北中文学校的腰鼓队!几乎每家电视新闻的报道中都出现了腰鼓队的身影。观看过今年西北中文学校举办的春节晚会的家长们一定对腰鼓队的开场表演记忆犹新;参加去年赛龙舟盛会的人们也能想起他们铿锵的鼓点儿。多年来,西北中文学校腰鼓队一直是华盛顿州地区许多盛大庆祝活动的开场节目。通过这两天精彩纷呈的展现,这支腰鼓队更是散发出闪亮的魅力。
  在酒店前的欢迎仪式上,原先的计划是让腰鼓队从车队进入视线时开始只连续表演五分钟的时间。但当车队终于到达时,群情振奋,国旗挥动,锣鼓震天,呼声一浪高过一浪。许多轿车落下车窗,街道上的人群可以清楚地看到中方和美方的领导人向外招手示意。整个车队竟行驶了十几分钟。持续舞动身段的腰鼓队员在阵阵鼓声中直打到手酸臂痛。难得他们平时训练有素,又是“久经沙场”,紧接着第二天上午全体又一次加入了欢送的庆典。为了配合舞狮舞龙的表演,腰鼓队变换鼓点,让有力的节拍响彻在开阔的停机坪上。

一线“特勤”校长
  象这样重大的访问活动,现场当然少不了大批警察和联邦特勤人员。有意思的是,西北中文学校的校长竟也不经意地客串了一回“特勤”。在第一天欢迎活动中,由于太多的人堵满了街道,警察只好严格地把大家都限制在人行道上的围栏线后面。虽然各个团队已经预先选好了位置,但被警察这样一拦,秩序反倒显得乱起来。这边一些人不太能听清警察的指令,那面的联邦特勤人员也不知道该怎么用中文喊话。这时,一直站在街道上的西北中文学校校长周琳急忙上前疏导。看到周琳镇定自若的指挥,那些穿着便衣的特勤人员和警察竟没有一个人要求她走回人行道上,反而请她帮忙维护秩序。
  第二天在机场的欢送活动中,换作一身黑色衣裤的周琳更是被当作中方的“特勤”和美国联邦调查员们一起“并肩”工作。事后大家问起校长这两天的“兼职”经历,周琳笑着说:“当时我们的人很多,担心由于语言不通,警察和特勤人员会打乱活动的预先安排,又看到各个团体的带队人也被限制在围栏线后面,一着急就亲自指挥起来。没想到几个现场的联邦调查员没有阻拦我,反倒很合作,又一再和我商量安全程序。当时只顾维护我们自己的队伍,哪里会细想他们是把我当成同行了。”周琳回想起那两天在街道上跑来跑去真是好累,可是一看到大家高昂的情绪和忙碌的情景,就象上了战场一样,什么也顾不上了。

“胡主席好!”
  高涨的热情从欢迎活动一开始就感染了每个在场的人。在酒店的门口,许多人高兴地喊着那些他们平时在电视上所熟悉的人的名字。由于第一天车队匆匆而过,只有一部分人见到胡主席等来访的领导。大家意犹未尽,第二天一大早又赶赴波音机场参加欢送仪式。以腰鼓队为首的西北中文学校的队伍又站在了欢庆人群的显著位置。人人都想尽量靠近前排,整齐的行列中呈现出不少拥挤。一层层麦浪般簇动的景象,真可谓是人山人海。几个印有“统一祖国”、“繁荣昌盛”、和写有学校名字的巨大横幅高高举起,吸引了多家电视台的摄像机。
  当胡锦涛主席稳步从欢送队伍的尽头逐一和大家握手问好时,人群更加激动起来。站在通往飞机的红地毯入口处的有包括西北中文学校董事长和校长在内的主要侨领。在使馆人员的陪同和介绍中,胡锦涛主席和每个人都握了手,然后准备继续向前走去。这时站在侨领身后的正是西北中文学校的腰鼓队。眼见胡主席擦肩而过,一名腰鼓队员大声喊道:“胡主席好!胡主席好!”已经快要踏上红地毯的胡锦涛主席听到叫声,又转过身来,缓步走向腰鼓队的位置,向大家说“辛苦了”,并和队员们亲切握手。是日,胡主席在恋恋不舍的气氛中离开西雅图,比原定停留时间超出了一个小时。

2006.4.20

西北中文,凝聚集体精神

西北中文,凝聚集体精神(第三稿)

  西北中文学校开学有一个多月了,到目前为止有约700名学生选修中文课,350余名学生选修各种文化课。51个中文班包括了从幼儿园到高中12年级和成人班,34个班的文化课有英文,奥林匹克数学,绘画美术及音乐舞蹈等。新增设的4个英文读写班特别聘请有教学经验的大学老师任教,学生人数爆满。新开的少儿歌舞启蒙训练班今年对本校学生是免费的,第一天就全部满额。其他少儿体操班、成人腰鼓队,舞蹈队等人数也大大超出了学校的预期计划。
  面对今年热火朝天的开学场面,校长周琳欣喜地肯定了集体力量带动着今年学校的各项发展和建设。“众人拾柴火焰高”,今年的火爆,和董事会,学校管理人员,家长们一起协作努力的干劲是分不开的!在这种新的精神和朝气的鼓舞下,西北中文可以更好地服务社区、提高中文教学和发扬中国文化。据周琳介绍,经过大家的共同努力,本学期有几个方面得到了很大的改进:
  (一)课本免费。这不仅是为了减少家长们的负担,也是从非盈利性的角度采取的措施。所有课本的来源都不是无偿的,而且每年的费用都在上涨。更不用说整个订购和分发的过程要耗费学校员工大量的时间和精力,这应该是每学年开始最繁杂的事务之一。经过全年的财务核算之后,董事会做出了免费课本的决定,并希望只要以后预算允许,学校就为每个学生提供免费的课本。
  (二)教学大纲。自今年夏天开始,每位老师就开始在教务组长和教导主任的带领下重新整理和编写各年级各科的教学计划和大纲。这一次的重整和以往的不同主要表现在规范化和电子化。西北中文学校是受到学分认证的学校,规范化之一就是要有更加适应时代更加明确的教学目的和指标,电子化就是确保学校财产的延续和更快捷的信息分享。今年的学生注册也第一次试行成功地使用了网络注册,因其简单好用,得到了家长们的赞同。
  (三)丰富内涵。在提高中文课水平的同时,西北中文学校不仅增设了各种副科课程,而且围绕中文教学的主题发展了许多新的项目。在学校的网站上现在每月一期的电子杂志──《西北校园》,就是吸引家长和学生积极参与的一块文化园地。电子杂志一直在吸收和招聘美工和艺术方面的人才,组织越来越多有声有色的活动项目。欢迎大家献计献策,共同参与!
  (四)家长值班。西北中文学校的PTA队伍一直非常强大,他们在学校的日常工作中起着不可替代的作用。从这个学期开始,PTA启动了家长值班巡逻制度,其主要作用是维护一个安全文明的校园。这样的举措深得人心,很多人都踊跃报名。
  不少孩子以学中文为苦。同时,家长们负担学费并挤出周末休息的时间送孩子来中文学校也是辛劳无比。周琳认为,学习本身就是辛苦的。学校有教育的目的和标准,家长和学生也是承认在西北中文学校有收获有效果,才不辞这份辛苦的。学校一直在做大量的努力和尝试,想方设法让学习中文变得有意思而不枯燥。已经着手为学生开展的有这样两方面的辅助服务:一是为中途入学的学生补课,二是鼓励学生们学有所用参与学校的各项活动。对于家长们来说,PTA定期举办各种讲座和文化活动。学校还会组织家长艺术团队,为新年晚会献礼。
  对学校的前景,周琳校长一直都是充满信心的。她非常欣赏西北中文学校的成功模式,这里不仅是一所简单的学校,它以前是未来也将持续地发展成为本地华人重要的活动中心之一。西北中文学校可以说是“藏龙卧虎”。这里人才济济,有不同年龄和来自各行各界的精英,每个人都有机遇和空间发挥他们的专业和潜能。只要大家有信心和毅力,就没有办不好的事情。
  相信大家会越来越喜欢西北中文学校,全力支持和参与,在活泼和忙碌的气氛中过一个个有意义的星期六。
  如果您希望加入西北中文学校,欢迎联系校长电话,206-349-6927 或 电子邮件:admin@nwchinese.org. [照片上是孩子们在中文班的课堂。摄影:王志东。]

2005.10.20

新学年新校长新气象──周琳为“西北校园”创刊号致词


新学年新校长新气象──周琳为“西北校园”创刊号致词
http://nwchinese.org/schoolLife/e-magazine/emag20050917.pdf, and more

首先,感谢校董事会和家长们的信任和支持,推举我担任新一届的校长。这是众人寄予我的期望,对我个人来说,也是一次能力的考验。自七月以来,全校教职员工已经为新的学年工作了几十个日日夜夜。许多老师在忙于暑期班的同时,也为教学计划投入了大量的准备工作。我真心地感谢大家对我们的学校付出的努力!

教学计划
满足学生的需求是我们办学的动力。在2005新学年的教学计划中,除了增设英文读写及数学加强班之外,我们还安排了免费的辅导课程,比如少儿歌舞启蒙训练及少儿体操班。值得一提的是,今年的教学大纲已全部经过整理完善并实现了电子存档,这为学校建立数据库走了第一步。

发挥潜能
每个人固受体力和智力的极限,也同样存在着有待发挥的潜能。激发潜能、冲破极限,这就是成就感。我们每天的工作、学习、锻炼、和创造,就是一个挑战自己和突破自己的过程。在这一过程中,执著的人坚持己任自强不息,勤奋的人珍惜时间争取时间,机敏的人助人为乐献才献计,勇于开拓的人展望宏图运筹时机。中国自古推崇“修身齐家”,更有“愚公移山”的典范。教书育人,造福万代,西北中文学校当然要做继承国学、发展国粹的榜样。我们学校今天和日后的成就都有赖于每一个执著者、勤奋者、机敏者、和开拓者提升目标并超越自我的努力。

团队精神
自创办之日起,西北中文学校就是一个由家长自发组织的团体。家长就是老师,老师也是家长。十年以来,这样的形式没有改变,也无需改变。这是我们办学的特点,更是我们的长处。个人和集体本是企业和组织管理中的持续话题。在这里,我们自然而然地形成一种“人人为我,我为人人”的传统。改进教学质量、提高管理素质关系到整体的利益,而不是单纯的个人名利。作为非盈利型机构,西北中文学校面向社会,吸收不同程度不同兴趣的学生,同时欢迎各种专长的教育人才为学校增光增采。“不辞寸土,不拒江河”,这就是我们的凝聚力和人气所在。

众成事业
西北中文学校是什么样的事业?是教育的事业,是传播文化的事业,是弘扬民族精神,更是体现海外华人团结一致、开创未来远景的事业。我们每一位教师、每一名管理人员、每一届董事会、每一个家长和学生、以及无数的志愿者参与进来,就是要推动和扩大这份事业,向前向上蓬勃发展。这份事业不仅仅代表一个地区或社区华人的努力,更包含了每一个个体的辛勤劳动。当我们每一个关心和加入这个学校的人,都为她的成长而欣喜、为她的繁荣而骄傲的时候,中文事业必将深入人心,“西北中文”的大名一定能继续享誉四方!


2005.9.17

年轻校长为西北中文学校注入新的活力

年轻校长为西北中文学校注入新的活力
西北中文学校是西雅图地区最大的中文教育机构,也是西北地区唯一得到学分承认的学校。


  暑期快结束了,这对于很多家长和学生来说可能仅仅是又一个学期的开始。但对于新一任的西北中文学校校长周琳而言,却是一个具有重大意义和充满挑战的起点。西北中文学校刚刚经过十周年校庆。家长、老师、和董事会在总结成绩的同时,都期待着学校的继续建设和壮大。除了日常的行政职责,周琳着手把重点放在一系列管理规范和架构的制定,好为下一步的进取铺垫更稳固的基石。这主要包括招聘选拔优秀教师人才,丰富充实教学计划,提高行政效率,并加强对家长和学生的服务。
  六年前从北京移居美国的周琳,是新一代的移民。她做事认真勤奋,非常热心公益事业,在上班和学习之余还积极参与志愿者工作。提起西北中文学校,她认为目前最大的挑战就是如何调整管理以适应新的需求。任何一个企业或机构的发展都离不开可行的计划和有效的管理,像西北中文学校这样一家非盈利的机构也不会例外。十年来,是几任校长、董事会、和家长们的共同努力才使得学校达到今天的规模。她非常认同和赞赏这样的管理模式。在进一步规范化管理的过程中,她希望任何的行政措施应该是,提高而不是降低工作效率,改进而不是减弱教学质量,凝聚而不是疏远包含家长在内的一个集体。保持一个高效的团队,在董事会和家长的支持下,学校才能得到更加稳步的发展。
  自两年前在中文班任教时,家长的支持就一直是周琳努力工作的最大的动力。她介绍说,西北中文学校最开始就是由家长们自发组织起来的。到现在都有家长们一直在做着大量的义务工作。许多人默默无闻,从没得到报酬。历届董事会都是从家长中选举出的代表,他们兢兢业业热心为学校工作的精神,给周琳留下了深刻的印象。
  周琳对美国的中文学校前景非常看好。她认为中国文化源远流长。学习中文既是许多家长对孩子的期望,也是一种文化的熏陶,更不用说来源于今天逐渐强盛的中国对世界的影响。每个孩子都有过围着父母和老师听故事的美好记忆。中文故事和历史小说包藏了许多迷人的和经久不衰的主题。周琳提到,在西北中文学校读书的一个男孩在看了三国演义的电视剧后迫切地要求学校开一个‘三国’班。她说,如果能在各方面最大地满足家长和学生的要求,这个学校就是成功的。为此,西北中文学校开设了适应各年龄层的中文课,包括从小学到成人班的所有年级。除了中文,西北中文学校还提供丰富多彩的文化课,象英文,数学,绘画,武术等等,可以说只要孩子们想上的课,在西北中文学校都可以找到。
  谈到未来的展望,周琳校长相信看到这所学校将一直是西北地区最大的和最优秀的中文学校。她说,“我希望当每个人提起中文时,就会想到西北中文学校。”
  西北中文学校开学在即,如果您希望加入西北中文学校,欢迎联系校长电话,206-349-6927或 admin@nwchinese.org.

Star Test (星星知我心)

  我得承认,我是一个特庸俗的女人,看了下面的测试后,马上也给先生打电话。打了三次都不在,最后一次接通了:
  我:忙吗?(先打个招呼)
  他:挺忙的(有不忙的时候吗!)
  我:问你个事行吗?
  他:行。
  我:是不是我想要什么你都给我呀?
  他:是呀,你想要什么呀?
  我:我想要天上的星星……
  他:呃,星星啊,行。
  我:那你怎么给我啊?
  他:等我有钱了,到月球上给你摘一颗下来……
  我:那你什么时候才有钱啊?
  他:说,你想要什么?(不上当啊)
  我:我就是想要星星啊。
  他:那你等晚上吧,晚上星星都出来了……
  我:真是的,实话告诉你吧,你比别的丈夫还好点,没让我拿头撞墙。
  他:哦,……
  我:算了,你工作吧,不打扰你了。
  他:……

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
★、老公啊,我要星星你给吗?(女人心理都是想让LG说:给,我摘给你。)可我LG说:不如你要点儿别的吧,钻戒,小点儿的,我可以买给你。星星我怎么摘啊?!诶……
★、看了楼上的贴子,我也突发奇想,打了个电话给LG(他在上班的路上,我在家里):LG,是不是我想要什么你都给我呀?───嗯?───你想要什么?───我想要天上的星星!!───电话那边大声道:**!你没睡醒吧???!!!
★、LG,是不是我想要什么你都会满足我呀~~~~停顿三秒钟(估计亿万分的害怕):只要你提出的要求我们在理所能力的东西统统满足~~~~(窃笑)我想要天上的星星~~~(温柔状):让豆豆和妞妞搭个梯子,我就上去摘给你~~%¥**—豆豆和妞妞是我家小狗。总结,那家伙擅长推卸责任,BS之。
★、偶问过他这种问题的。他的长处,就是诚实。我问他是不是我想要什么都会给我。他说你先说你要什么吧。我说你先答应我我再说。他说你不告诉我要什么我怎么答应你啊。无趣啊……
★、俺马上行动,给老公发了条短信:老公,是不是我要什么你都会给我啊?老公回短信:要什么呀?我说:要天上的星星。……老夫老妻了,不知道老公看了会不会打寒战……老公一直没回复,我又发了一条:为什么不理我?老公回复:在忙。后来他打了个电话过来说中午要加班让我自己回家,我就嘟嘟囊囊的说你怎么不回我短信呀,他说哪条短信呀,我又嘟嘟囊囊的说我要天上的星星呀。为什么我要嘟嘟囊囊的说呢,因为我在办公室,所以要轻声一点。老公说这还不简单,我回家拿纸给你折两个。哼……我要跟他离婚!
★、你还是平衡吧,至少他还动手了!我后来和老公说我要星星,他说这还不简单,晚上花园里端个水盆给你星星就有了!───怎么看怎么觉得像猴子捞月呢~~~
★、我也很八卦地实验了一把。发条短信:老公,是不是我要什么你都会给我啊?老公回:什么意思?怎么突然问这个?我回:是不是吗?老公回:如果合情合理且我能实现的当然可以了,又看中什么啦?看来是我最近败家败多了~~~
★、偶家博士老公是个书呆子,
  我:老公,是不是我要什么你都会给我啊?
  他:那当然啦,呵呵。不会给我下什么套吧?
  我:我想要天上的星星。
  他:噢!那得等等啦,我们飞船上月球后托人给你搞点星星回来噢。乖!
★、这个好玩,哈哈,我也问LG了。
  我:LG,是不是我要什么都会给我啊?
  他:嗯(傻乎乎的)。
  我:我要天上的星星。
  他:哦,我摘给你。
  我晕……太没趣了,关键是这个家伙五分钟后又打电话过来问:你为啥要星星啊?天哪,我说:我就是要,你怎么摘给我啊?电话那头沉默了十秒钟,答:我给你一闷棍,你就看到星星了。
★、在办公室闲来无事,我也做了测试。
  我:LG,你在干什么啊?
  他:在外面,有事,什么事?
  我:是不是我要什么都会给我啊?
  他:你先说是什么,不说我怎么能答应?
  我:我要天上的星星
  他:哦,这个啊,不现实,你是不是没事做啊?没事做找点事情做啊!
  我:??
  他:快说,到底要什么?
  我:没有了!
  他:就要这个?看来你真的没事做!
★、我也跟风了,发消息:
  我:老公,是不是我要什么东西你都会给我?
  他:要什么呀?
  我:我要天上的星星。(大白天发这样的消息,严重怀疑自己神经是不是出了问题)
  他:等会给你打电话……
  过俩小时(他在展会上很忙的)电话响接起。
  他:你要什么啊?
  我:……(支支呜呜……被同事听到噶傻的话不要被嘲笑死)
  他:你要就说呀。
  我:刚刚不是说过了嘛。
  他:你要星星怎么可能拿到了,死后到天上就有了。
  我:¥……*@#**—…%……(彻底晕倒无语中)……
★、我的LG、33周岁,超级繁忙中……好容易拨通热线,问:LG,你在干吗?工作啊,干吗?是不是我要什么你都给我啊?(楞)───钱又花光啦?───没啊……你说,是不是我要什么你都给我啊?───是的……(同上面JM的LG,傻乎乎的)。你干吗?───没干吗……做测试啊(不坦白不行,省得继续被盘问)───(笑)……你烦不烦啊……
★、妙妙:老公,是不是我要什么你都会给我啊?
  某人:你要什么,你说吧。
  妙妙:我要天上的星星。
  某人:我拍下来给你吧。
  ……真没劲的!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
★、我:老公,是不是我要什么都会给我啊?
  他:能实现的,尽量。
  我:我要天上的星星。
  他:你要太阳月亮,可不好。
  他:星星好说啊。
  我:为什么?
  他:你用头往墙上碰,使劲碰,几下就看到了。
★、我也跟风了,发消息:
  我:老公,是不是我要什么东西你都会给我?
  他:有什么事情回家再说,我在量房子呢。
  我:我要天上的星星。
  他:哦。
  没下文了。我恼羞成怒,又发消息:
  我:你不爱我
  他:我爱你我爱你,我爱死你了。我现在在工地上忙死了。
  我:那我要天上的星星。
  他:晚上回家带你超市去买。
  ……无限郁闷中~~~
★、关于星星的问题,我想到了去年的这个时候。
  有一天晚上我们一起在阳台上看星星,我说:是不是我要什么你都可以给我?
  他:在我所拥有的和经济能力范围以内的,你要什么都可以拿走。
  指了指天上说:我要天上的那个星星。
  他:好!没问题。然后偶们就相视一笑。因为我知道他不能去天上摘星星给我。
  一个礼拜以后,我的生日。中午一起吃饭,他让偶闭上眼睛,摊开手掌偶睁开眼睛的时候,发现自己的掌心里有一条“北极星”的项链(就是《冬季恋歌》里的那条)。
★、有意思,我也来贴个问答。
  我:老公,我要什么你都会给我吗?
  他:怎么,心情不好?
  我:我想要天上的星星。
  他:咳,你直说吧,是想骗吃呢还是看上哪个东西了?
★、刚才也学着跟了把风:
  我:是不是我要什么你都会给我?
  答:你要什么?
  我:我要天上的星星。
  答:神经!
  我:你怎么一点幽默感都没有啊?
  答:那好吧,重来。你要什么?
  我:我要天上的星星。
  答:我给你端盆水,你自己看吧。
  我:这种简单的俏皮话要逼你才说的出来,你退步太多了吧?
  答:我上班烦得一头包,你别神经了。
  我:%¥#—……*没劲,真没劲。55555
★、我:土土,是不是聪聪要什么你都会给我?
 土鱼:你又想要啥啊?(最近买了N多新猫皮,看来是把他买怕了,哼唧)
  我:天上的星星哈。
 土鱼:叫你儿子去摘下来,它很喜欢爬高的。(儿子就是我们家笨猫二笨)
  我:555……哇哇大哭……
 土鱼:叫你儿子去干活,你哭啥啊……
★、我:GG,是不是我想要什么你都会给我啊?
  他:那当然。
  我:我要星星(电话中)。
  他:你养仙人球都死,还养猩猩?现在猩猩也给养了?多少钱?
  我:我要天上的星星……
  他:……电视机里有……
  我:……
★、嘻嘻,我贪玩今天也试一了下LG。
  老婆:喂……LG……
  老公:什么事老婆……
  老婆:我是不是我想要什么你都会送给我的?
  老公:那你先说要什么。
  老婆:我想要天上的星星。呵呵!!
  老公:不切实际,根本不可能的事。
  气死我了,后来没趣我就挂线了……
★、哇,这个游戏好玩───老公,老公───啊?是不是我想要什么东西你都会给我啊?───基本上是。───嘻嘻,那我要天上的星星───好啊,等它落下来,我就去拣给你。
★、此贴充分证明了女人的无聊,BS你们一下。不过看在LG就在我身后看书的份儿上,我也冒着起鸡皮的危险无聊一把:
  我:是不是我要什么你都能给我?
  他没理我……(没面子,后悔……)
  我:问你呢?(于是又问一遍,声音提高八度)
  他:要什么?
  我:天上的星星。(寒)
  他:猴子要不?
  我:为什么要猴子?
  他:猴子跟猩猩差不多。
  我:你真没劲,人家的LG都给摘星星。
  他做恶心状说:嗳~~,你傻啊,那样的男人都是骗子,说那样的话还不如给买个冰淇淋实际呢。
  问答不出我的所料,简直就是自取其辱。
★、我:老公,是不是我想要什么你都给我呀?
  他:你想的美你!
  我:555555555555555555555555离婚!!!!!!!!!
★、跟风:
  我:哈尼,是不是我想要什么你都给我啊?
  他:你又想干什么?(戒备的很,估计偶平时做的这样的测试过多)
  我:快说快说。
  他:给唉……(迟疑+犹豫)
  我:我要天上的星星。
  他:哦(明显松了一口气),都给你,你自己去拿。
★、昨天晚上洗完澡出来看见老人家四仰八叉地在沙发上看电视,突然想起这一出。
  老婆:老公~~嗯嗯哪哪~~
  老公:干嘛?大胆地说,不要有心理负担!
  老婆:是不是我想要什么你都给我啊?
  老公:(狂喜)我这就给哈,等会儿,我先去洗个澡。
  弹进浴室前还给我再抛个媚眼:“别急噢,很快的!”
  我在外面狂砸门:死人!我要星星!
  浴室里:等会儿,一下就给!
★、昨天看到贴子后忍住没问偶家那个猪头,今天实在忍不住了,发短信给他。
  我:亲亲,是不是我想要什么你都会给?
  他:是。(态度很坚决,偶狂喜)
  我:那我要天上的星星。
  他:摘一个。
  我:怎么摘?
  他:没想好。(我倒!)

The Sound Of Music

The Sound Of Music (Maria)

The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
that rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
from a church on a breeze
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls over
stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark who is learning to pray

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more


Maria (the Nuns)

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Mass
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple
She has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the abbey

She's always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria's not an asset to the abbey

I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Maria makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

When I'm with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!

She'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl!

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?


Sixteen Going to Seventeen

Rolf: You wait, little girl, on an empty stage
For fate to turn the light on
Your life, little girl, is an empty page
That men will want to write on

Liesl: To write on

Rolf:
You are sixteen going on seventeen
Baby, it's time to think
Better beware, be canny and careful
Baby, you're on the brink

You are sixteen going on seventeen
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads and rogues and cads
Will offer you food and wine

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your ken

You need someone older an wiser
Telling you what to do
I am seventeen going on eighteen
I'll take care of you

Liesl:
I am sixteen going on seventeen
I know that I'm naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet
And willingly I believe

I am sixteen going on seventeen
Innocent as a rose
Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies
What do I know of those

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared am I
Of things beyond my ken

I need someone older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are seventeen going on eighteen
I'll depend on you


Sixteen Going to Seventeen (Maria and Liesl)

Maria:
You are sixteen going on seventeen
Waiting for life to start
Somebody kind who touches your mind
Will suddenly touch your heart

Liesl:
When that happens, after it happens
Nothing is quite the same
Somehow I know I'll jump up and go
If ever he calls my name

Maria:
Gone are your old ideas of life
The old ideas grow dim
Lo and behold you're someone's wife
And you belong to him

You may think this kind of adventure
Never may come to you
Darling sixteen going on seventeen
Wait a year . . .

Liesl: I'll wait a year . . .
Maria: Just wait a year . . .
Maria and Liesl: Or two


My Favorite Things (Maria)

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad


Do-Re-Mi

Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with A-B-C
When you sing you begin with do-re-mi

Do-re-mi, do-re-mi
The first three notes just happen to be
Do-re-mi, do-re-mi

Maria: Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti
Maria spoken: Let's see if I can make it easy

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself
Far, a long, long way to run
Sew, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow Sew
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to Do (oh-oh-oh)

Maria and Children: [Repeat above verse twice]

Maria: Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do So-do!

Maria: (spoken)
Now children, do-re-mi-fa-so and so on
are only the tools we use to build a song.
Once you have these notes in your heads,
you can sing a million different tunes by mixing them up.
Like this.

Maria: So Do La Fa Mi Do Re [spoken] Can you do that?
Children: So Do La Fa Mi Do Re
Maria: So Do La Ti Do Re Do
Children: So Do La Ti Do Re Do
Maria: [spoken] Now, put it all together.

Maria and Children:
So Do La Fa Mi Do Re, So Do La Ti Do Re Do
Maria: (spoken) Good!
Brigitta: (spoken) But it doesn't mean anything.
Maria: (spoken)
So we put in words. One word for every note. Like this.

When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything [spoken] Together!

Maria and Children:
When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself
Far, a long, long way to run
Sew, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow Sew
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to Do

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do
Do Ti La So Fa Mi Re

Children:
Do Mi Mi - Mi So So - Re Fa Fa - La Ti Ti [Repeat]

Maria:
When you know the notes to sing
You can sing most anything

Maria and Children:
Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself
Far, a long, long way to run
Sew, a needle pulling thread
La, a note to follow Sew
Tea, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to

Maria and Children:
Do . . . So Do - Re . . . La Fa
Mi . . . Mi Do - Fa . . . Re
So . . . So Do - La . . . La Fa
Ti . . . La So Fa Mi Re
Ti Do - oh - oh Ti Do -- So Do


Edelweiss (the Captain)

Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Every morning you greet me
Small and white, clean and bright
You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
Bloom and grow forever

Edelweiss, Edelweiss
Bless my homeland forever


Climb every mountain (Mother Abbess)

Climb ev'ry mountain
Search high and low
Follow ev'ry by-way
Every path you know

Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live

Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live

Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream


Something Good

Maria:
Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somwhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth

For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

Captain:
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should

Maria:
So somewhere in my youth or childhood
I must have done something good

Maria and the Captain:
Nothing comes from nothing
Nothing ever could

Maria: So somewhere in my youth
Captain: Or childhood
Maria: I must have done something . . .
Maria and the Captain:
Something good


So Long, Farewell


Children:
There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too
And up in the nursery an absurd little bird
Is popping out to say "cuckoo"
Marta, Gretl, Brigitta: Cuckoo, cuckoo

Children: Marta, Gretl, Brigitta:
Regretfully they tell us Cuckoo, cuckoo
But firmly they compel us Cuckoo, cuckoo
To say goodbye . . .
Marta, Gretl, Brigitta: Cuckoo!
Children: . . . to you

Children:
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night
Marta:
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

Children:
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu
Friedrich:
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu

Children:
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen
Liesl:
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne

Children:
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Kurt:
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye -- Goodbye!
Brigitta:
I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
Louisa:
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly
Gretl:
The sun has gone to bed and so must I

Children:
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Guests: Goodbye!

Proud Of You (中文填词)

Proud Of You

Love in your eyes (爱在眼中)
Sitting silent by my side (静静坐在我身旁)
Going on, holding hands (向前走,手牵手)
Walking through the nights (走过夜的星光)
Hold me up, hold me tight (紧紧地,抱着我)
Lift me up to touch the sky (高举我到天上方)
Teaching me to love with heart (教我用真心地爱)
Helping me open my mind (让我心中更敞亮)

I can fly (我飞翔……)
I'm proud that I can fly (我高飞向太阳)
To give the best of mine (奉献我最珍藏)
Till the end of the time (直到终点时光)
Believe me I can fly (相信我能飞翔)
I'm proud that I can fly (我骄傲我翱翔)
To give the best of mine (奉献出最美好)
The heaven in the sky (那空中的天堂)

Stars in the sky (满星天空)
Wishing once upon a time (很久以前的愿望)
Give me love make me smile (给我爱,我微笑)
Till the end of life (到生命耗光)
Hold me up hold me tight (紧抱我,再向上)
Lift me up to touch the sky (高举我到天上方)
Teaching me to love with heart (教我如何用心地爱)
Helping me open my mind (为我打开了心房)

I can fly (我飞翔……)
I'm proud that I can fly (我高飞向太阳)
To give the best of mine (奉献我最珍藏)
Till the end of the time (直到终点时光)
Believe me I can fly (相信我能飞翔)
I'm proud that I can fly (我骄傲我翱翔)
To give the best of mine (奉献出最美好)
The heaven in the sky (那空中的天堂)

Can't you believe that you light up my way (是你的信心照亮我的路)
No matter how that ease my path (无论是前途有多难)
I'll never lose my faith (我会跟随我信仰)

See me fly (看我飞)
I'm proud to fly up high (我骄傲地向上飞)
Show you the best of mine (展示我的理想)
Till the end of the time (到最后的时光)
Believe me I can fly (相信我能飞翔)
I'm singing in the sky (在空中我歌唱)
Show you the best of mine (展示我的理想)
The heaven in the sky (空中的天堂)
Nothing can stop me
Spread my wings so wide (没什么可以阻挡我 的翅膀)