Yes Minister

英国电视剧《是，大臣》经典摘录

★、人人平等，但是有些人比其他人更加「平等」。
★、人类没有特权，哈克先生。我们不凌驾于自然之上，我们属于自然。你知道，人也是动物。 ——我知道，我刚去过下议院。
★、你有什么建议？——你能保守秘密吗？——当然。——我也能。
★、你知道首相的座右铭：败则怀恨在心，胜则反攻倒算。
★、你给研究所的证词会不会支持我的观点？是或不是？！讲明白！——大臣，您如果一定要我讲明白，我只能说，就目前情况，纵观全局，纵览古今，考虑各部门平均水平，总结性地分析，也许可以认为……综上所述，概括说来，您很可能发现……尽管也许不中听，无论如何……恐怕前景微妙！现阶段只能如此预期！——你到底说“是”还是“不是”？——“是”，也“不是”！
★、你越不想做什么事，你越不停地说这件事.
★、公务员工作三原则：越拖延越高效，越费钱越便宜，越秘密越民主。
★、典型欧共体官员什么样？意大利人的组织能力，德国人的“弹性”，法国人的“谦逊”，再加上比利时人的“想象力”，荷兰人的“慷慨”，还有爱尔兰人的“智慧”！而且还是个美差！喝香槟、吃鱼子酱、公家豪华轿车、私人飞机……个个都伸嘴在食槽里拱，大多数人连前蹄也伸了出去！
★、官方答复是什么意思？——就是回复“大臣感谢您的来信”再说些“正在考虑中”这样的话。要是您觉得一样，也可以说些“正在积极考虑中”这样的话。——有何不同？——“正在考虑中”意思是文件已经丢了，“正在积极考虑中”的意思是我们正在找。
★、实际上，只有城市中产阶级操心保护乡村的事情，因为他们不用住那里。
★、我国政府的运作方式在于大臣从我们提供的方案中遴选决策，对吧？所以，如果他们掌握了事实，他们会看到其他可能性，甚至会自己提出方案来，而不从我们提供的两三个方案中选。
★、报纸和政府不一样。如果我们发表了声明，我们得证明那是真的。
★、政府应对指责的五个标准理由（借口）：１．这些事都有合理解释，但出于安全考虑，不能公开。２．由于降低了预算，监管力量削弱才有了这一疏忽。３．该实验值得一做，并已经停止，得到了大量珍贵数据。还提供了就业。４．有些重要信息，尘埃落定以后我们才能得知。下不为例。５．由个人决策失误引起，已根据内部纪律条例予以处理。
★、政治第一定律：只有官方否认的才可信。
★、明天是我妻子的结婚周年纪念日。——也是你的！——哦对，也是我的！
★、有四个词能让大臣采纳提案：快捷、简单、时兴、便宜。还有四个词能让提案被大臣否决：复杂、耗时、昂贵、争议。要彻底排除大臣采纳的可能性，就得说这个决定“有魄力”。“有争议”只表示“会失去部分选票”，“有魄力”表示“会输掉整个大选”！
★、民主国家的公民当然有权利了解（政策）．——不，他们有无知的权利。知识代表着阴谋和罪行，无知倒有一定的尊严。你不能让人们得其所愿，如果这对他们没有好处的话。你会给一个酒鬼白兰地吗？如果人们不知道你在干什么，他们就不知道你做错了什么。
★、这能让我们找到方法杜绝浪费政府资金。——但是公众对如何挥霍公家的财产可是一窍不通，我们才是专家！
★、浪费了七万五千英磅叫小错？那什么是大错？——让人发现了就叫大错。
★、演讲之妙并不在于大臣说真话，而在于没人证明他说谎。

Humpy's way talking

S01E02
Notwithstanding the provisions of subsection 3, section A, clause 214 
of the Administrative Procedures Scotland Act 1978, it is proposed that 
in so far as the implementation of the statutory provisions is concerned, 
the resolution of anomalies and uncertainties as between responsible departments 
shall fall within the purview of the Minister for Administrative Affairs.

I wonder if there's anything that might persuade you, President, 
to consider recasting that sentence and transferring the emphasis 
from the specific instance to the abstract concept without, 
of course, in any way, impairing the conceptual integrity of the theme.


S01E03
No, we must let him panic.
Politicians like to panic. They need activity.
It's their substitute for achievement.


S01E04
Well, in the first place as we've agreed that question is not...
In the second place, if there had been investigations,
which there haven't or not necessarily,
or I am not at liberty to say whether there have,
there would have been a project team, which,
had it existed, on which I cannot comment,
which would now have disbanded if it had existed
and the members returned to do their departments,
if indeed there had been any such members.


S01E05
If you ask me for a straight answer
then I shall say that, as far as we can see,
looking at it by and large, taking one time with another,
in terms of the average of departments,
then in the final analysis it is probably true to say
that at the end of the day, in general terms,
you would probably find that
not to put too fine a point on it,
there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other -
As far as one can see ... at this stage.

I'm sorry, but sometimes one is forced to consider
the possibility that affairs are being conducted in a way
which all things being considered, and making all possible 
allowances is, not to put too fine a point on it,
perhaps not entirely straightforward.


S01E06
Minister, the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities
has always been so determined as to liberate
the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae
by devolving the managerial functions
to those whose qualifications have better formed them
for the performance of such humble offices, thereby releasing
their political overlords for the more onerous duties
and deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant
of their exalted position.


S02E03
Well, it was to the effect that,
in view of the nebulous and inexplicit nature of your remit,
arguably peripheral nature of your influence on decisions
within the political process,
there could be a case for restructuring their action priorities
so as to eliminate your liquidation from their agenda.
... That was the gist of it.
What's it mean in English?
It means that they don't think you're important enough
for it to be worth assassinating you.


S03E03
The identity of the official whose alleged responsibility
for this hypothetical oversight,
as being the subject of recent discussion,
is not shrouded in quite such impenetrable obscurity
as previous disclosures led you to assume.
But not to put too fine a point on it...
the individual in question is, It may surprise you to learn,
one whom your present interlocutor...
is in the habit of defining...
by means of the perpendicular pronoun.

We were overworked, there was panic!
Parliamentary questions tabled.
Obviously I'm not a trained lawyer
or I wouldn't have been in charge of the Legal Unit!


S03E06
Yes, but now you know personally, if not officially,
you can use your personal knowledge
to start official investigations
to get official confirmation of personal suspicions
so what you now know personally, but not officially,
you will then know officially as well as personally.

My attention has been drawn to information
which suggests possible irregularities under
Section 1 of the Export Powers Defence Act 1939c.
Evidence suggests there may be a case for further investigation
to establish whether enquires should be put in hand.
It should be stressed that available information is limited
and facts could be difficult to establish with any certainty.


S03E07
Railway trains are impartial too.
But if you lay down the lines for them, that's the way they go!